..perfect day for this title.
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过了连续几天的‘工作训练营’后，便是和现实开战的序幕了。
告别了家庭般的‘工园’(公园)后，我告别了每个星期的电影日点心日，告别了时不时就请我吃马来糕点的民族歌手，告别了不厌其烦地教导我的‘上师’（上司）们，也告别了温馨又可爱的同事们。。。 我，很不潇洒地来到了这个战场。
心理总有这一件心知肚明却又不话人知的事实：那就是犯贱的背后，我不是全心地想要离开这么好的工作环境；可是细想而知，人生总不会一直风平浪静的，了解我的人更是深知这一点：如果我现在不向上爬，到时恐怕连趴地的机会都会没有了。
简单来说，我的人生就是一只活在上游的小鱼，不进则退。
原本很想很想偷懒的我，无论被现实刮了多少巴掌还是想要去冬眠的~~ 没有上进心的我原来还是有自知之明的~ 最终来到了这个战场，迎来的是许多初出茅庐的小兵们。
不知道是我老了，还是我落伍了；这一批的新兵，来的都是想坑大业的梦想家，每个人都是有备而来的战士，好不强大！ （才怪！）
意外的是，我们一开始的训练营进行中，大家渐渐熟了起来，开始结交成好友了~~ 这种见怪不怪的常景，却对我来说正是我的最佳娱乐！ XD 。。我其实就是个挂名战士，现实工作为外景记者。
把大伙对工作的认真当成是娱乐的标题，贪玩之余的我其实还是认为，要就对人生认真，不要随随便便地把工作和人生放上同等号，这样会贬低了自己的存在性，自己的价值观。
很靠运的。。。 也遇到了些很好的朋友~~ 这些靓丽有为的小妹，在训练营结束后也和大伙告别回到马六甲了。。。
在要画上句号的同时，啊。。。我的人生回来了。。。我上了地铁后地铁突然坏了，我便冒雨跑到附近的巴士站上----结果车水马龙中我就被困在巴士上一两个钟头。在冒雨奔跑下，我朋友也很不耐烦地回家吃饭了。。取消了晚餐计划后，结果很不容易地回到了家。。。 扑通地睡了下去~~ 当时深想，狮子座的老子是应该凶恶骂人的角色！这么驯的我还是真的怀疑我是不是名副其实的‘什么都不想--座（做）’；其实友人的笑容最重要啦~ 大家开心就好。。。。我果然懒到很有道理！ XD
游戏结束了，战斗开始了。
雨，夜，搁笔。
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..on the very next day, when the warmth of allies still sooth our hearts. Everyone got assigned to their very own engagement in a matter of seconds. Despite slight reluctance and uncertainty that lies on everyone's eye, the battle mode got switched on as fast as lightning.
I think I found what I am looking for here, and this will only lead to me something way more interesting! :)
..yes I did write that in chinese purposely to limit the audience. I think appreciation is more than something that is showed on the surface, its something that u keep in heart dearly.
I liked everyone's face. The hidden resolute to win with a tinge a doubt... this is auditor's path: everyone knew this is coming, despite the surprise it has taken on us. Everyone knew that we won't stand side by side in this battle, and accept it with a harden resolution. I dono whether its the shining kiasu-ness, or the other side of the face/the attitude that is beginning to emerge... but I liked how these tension pushes everyone. How ppl strategize differently to survive, some puts on mask, some decided to stay low profile and pretend to be ignorant, some acts blur, some stands out, and all are ready for the coming battle!
Me? I got assigned to pretty uncommon engagement. Changes happens in split seconds without notification at all, but that is just like how my life has ever been right~ I enjoy being the someone who fears physical death so much yet wanted to walk closer to feel how its like being feel like wanted to be mentally killed. Maybe I just wanted to reassure myself, that once u met death, you will realise a different level of survival, and appreciate a little bit more of everyones' smile, and how much that means to you.
...and what have I proven to myself?
..yes. I think I am very certain now. Auditing is not THAT tough, there are a lot of job out there which is way tougher.. but this one?
..it's just a pathetically lonely job.
I wanna see how many more will continue to deny this.
How many more will give in.
How many more will give up.
How many will throw up their emotional defence and choose their colleague to be their life-mate.
How many will give up on fantasies and decided to stick with whatever they have unable to move on either because of appreciation or because a fading fire in them thinking that this job kills ur option.
How many will go beyond this and see life as it is, not defined by small things in life that began to overgrow their role.
Because these small things should never define your life.
Your life defines them.
Will you build your own building of career?
Or will you treasure your own treasure more?
Psycho-leon, Fri, 12/12.
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